Cpt. Kangaroo, Thunderboxes, & Crunchy Heads

"Oih, wheres your thunderbox?"
"Our..., our what?"
"Your thunderbox, I gotta use the thunderbox"

Just one of the many cultural differences and discrepancies I encountered this weekend while attempting to understand 'aussie'. As with everything abroad from the United States, it was a learning experience.


While staying at our hostel in Prague we met some interesting people. This of course can be expected anytime you throw 30 random individuals of all ages, sizes, and ethnicity in a room and tell them to sleep. (Have you ever tried to rest while a 45 year old male Bulgarian is sawing logs in the bunk above you? Have you?)

This is where Candice & Tiffany Quinlan come into the story. We first met the Quinlan sisters in the hostel's kitchen our second night in Prague. I sat at the table eating a well rounded dinner (which probably included multiple portions of every food group) and watched them hopelessly try to saute sun dried tomatoes, chucked zucchini, and ridiculous amounts of salt. In the end I couldn't help myself and had to casually poke fun at their attempts. Its pretty hard to cook sun dried anything past it being sun dried and I felt like it was worth pointing out to them. We struck up a conversation and they ultimately joined my comrades and I on multiple excursions throughout Prague.

When we parted ways we told them to look us up if they ever headed our way and passed through Belgium.

Who came knocking on our door a week later? Yep, the Quinlan sisters.

In reality, they actually cleared it with us first via facebook and we gladly re-extended the invitation for a weekend pit stop in Brussels.

Tiffany and Candice are on their summer 'holiday' from 'Uni' (University) in Australia, touring around Europe for a month. Both are a year from graduating and saw this as a final opportunity to hit the road and see the world before having to enter the wide world of grownups. The sisters share a spunky and happy-go demeanor concerning just about everything, making them very enjoyable to have around in the dismal Brussel's weather. While they did sport very strong Australian accents, it hardly compared to the stereotypical American's depiction of Outback Steakhouse commercials. Their English was English none the less, but at times it was hard to decipher what exactly they were trying to say. Imagine putting two males in the same room, one from the deep south and another from a well to do family in the north, and you'd likely have a similar translation problem. Here are a few of the more comical conversations we had with each other.

"Oh yea, you were dominating the d!" - Aussies
"What? "- Me [Completely bewildered. You can probably imagine why.]
"Dominatin' the d." - Aussies
"What the hell are you talking about?" - Me
"Dancing! You were dancing a lot on the dance floor. Dominating the dance floor." - Aussies
"Please don't ever tell another American male that he was 'dominatin the d'. That is not okay, I promise." - Me


"Oih, wheres your thunderbox?" - Aussies
"Haha...our what?" - Americans
"Your thunderbox, the outbox, the thunderbox. Do you have one?" - Aussies
"I honestly have no clue what you want. Speak American." - Me
"The bathroom! Its a thunderbox. Bathroom/thunderbox. Same thing" - Aussies
[I lost it laughing at that point for obvious reasons.]

"Forget that noise." - Americans
"What noise?" - Aussies
"No, not like literal noise, I just mean that is dumb." - Americans
"Then why call it noise if there is no noise?" - Aussies
"Aigh', never mind." - Americans

They also say:

• 'mate' = friend
• 'sheila' = female/woman (shawty get low? or sheila get low?)
  
• 'tkep' = ketchup
• 'Uiy' = pickup truck
• 'Uni = University/College
• 'Holiday' = Vacation
  

Not so much a conversation, but in case you ever run into Paul Hogan and he calls you a crunchy, I'll go ahead an enlighten you as to the implications of the statement.

In America, we make fun of blond women for...well for being blond women [why wouldn't we?] Well the Aussies were one step ahead of us. At one point or another (probably multiple) we made fun of their blond hair and fitting demeanor; they countered by calling us crunchies. Initially we laughed, because once again we were at such a loss as to what they were saying it was incredibly humorous. They went on to explain to us that, like a crunch bar, crunchies are brown hair on the outside and blond demeanor on the inside. While actually trying to insult us, they inadvertently empowered males everywhere with evidence to sight not only blond women, but now brunettes as 'blond' like persons.

I speak on a personal position here, but I easily got along with them better than anyone else we've met in our travels. They wore cowboy boots, listened to American country music & classic rock, hunt kangaroos (not split-toe), and like to eat meat (minus the sun dried tomatoes incident). Could Australia be my second home? Maybe.

Oh and they dislike the French, which gives rise to the question, why do I not have more Australian friends?

We took them around Brussels; sampled the fine chocolates, 'sampled' the Belgian beer, and grabbed a waffle. We had a great time and told them that if they ever (again) came through Brussels to let us know.

Candice & Tiffany are somewhere between here and Paris at this moment, the final stop on their European excursion. We had a blast and wish them the best of luck in the remainder of their travels.


4600 thousand miles from home and I meet someone who, although from a different homeland, its incredibly similar to myself. Who would have thunk it?

All good; all the time,

Thomas