dam....Although you may have never visited this historic city, you have no doubt heard of its reputation. To accurately describe the city in its entirety while still maintaining a PG rating on my word choice....lets just say its going to be pretty difficult. Ladies and gentlemen, you're just going to have to bear with me and use your imagination (if you want).
The Arrival:
Our EuroLines bus pulled up to the Amstel Central Station around 9:45pm. A large portion of the city is built in a radial fashion with canals that wind and twist through the city streets and alley ways. After a series of wrong turns, broken Dutch conversations, and 30 minute treck through the city we arrived at our temporary residence, Hotel Linda. My comrades this trip included Andrew "JewJew" Blayton, Charlie "Chuck" Sipple, Nils "Grandpappa" Peterson, and Brittany "BHALLarious" Hall.
We shared a room with 5 other individuals, but none were to be seen when we arrived. We walked around for an hour or so our first night just taking in the night life but ultimately called it a day as to get an early start on the following day.
Day 1 in Amsterdam:
We arose at 8 am and set out to find some food (Usually the number one priority on my mind. I can handle cold/hot; I can handle tired; I can handle stressful...but I sure have a hard time handling anything if I'm hungry.) After searching for something within our budget I settled on a small bakery that had some fruit filled pastries.
There is an organization that puts on tours for "those on a budget that still want the full experience. They are based in numerous tourist destinations throughout Europe and I fully plan to use them when possible because of how well done our tour was. We met up with our tour guide at 10 in front of the National Monument. (The dutch are terrible at naming things. The name of their central national monument is...The National Monument, which is half a block from New Church, which is two blocks from Old Church, which is in turn down the road from "the Bridge" [which is a bridge, believe it or not]; so on and so forth).
Our guide, a lively Australian named Ryan, has been moving from major European city to city over the past decade or so and claims that Amsterdam is without a doubt his personal favorite. I was pretty skeptical about how entertaining and informative a "budget" tour could be, but Ryan's engaging oration and constant jumpy demeanor kept everyone in the group focused on what he was saying. Most who travel to Amsterdam have a sense of mysticism concerning the direct activities of the city. People hear about the Red Light District, they hear about the Cafe shops, they hear its a party city, but they never really know what to expect. I was no different. Ryan spent the next 5 hours walking around the city with us hitting all of the major points (i.e. Anne Frank House, Red Light District, Coffee Cafes) as well as the smaller and finer aspects of Dutch life (law, culture, and general info about the cities citizens). When it was all said and done, I had a pretty good bearing on knowing my way around the city as well as understanding the in and outs of how day to day life works in such a funky city.
One thing I noticed upon my arrival to Amsterdam was that all of the buildings looked askew and not at all squared off with one another. Door jams leaned one way, windows leaned another, and sometimes the entire building leaned way forward as if it was going to tip outward into the street. At first I just thought the Dutch were terrible builders (except for Dikes) but Ryan set the record straight. The offset door jams and windows were a result of the city being built entirely upon marshland, but the buildings leaning into the streets was in fact on purpose. Being an old shipping town, many of the buildings had storehouses in the upper levels and building the buildings slanted outwards allowed for goods to be hoisted up without them banging into the side of the structure and damaging the goods. I looked at the building and then asked, "Why not just extend the main roof beam out into the street and save yourself the trouble of building a slanted building?" He looked at me for a second, smiled, and then responded that it took the Dutch hundreds of years to solve this problem and that I'd just solved in 5 minutes (maybe my college education is paying off, but don't get your hopes up mom & dad).
After the tour Ryan offered to take myself and my fellow travelers to one of his local hangouts and we gladly followed. We met several of his "mates" and it seemed he was a fairly popular guy in the town. We hung out with him for a while before he had to leave and give another tour but before leaving, he convinced us to come on his Red Light District tour that evening and see a slightly darker and less censored side of Amsterdam.
We walked around aimlessly just taking it all in for a while longer. Each rode looks exactly like the last. Each of the buildings; all equally jammed between one another, line the canals all the way around the city. When I thought of Amsterdam's scenery I pictured cobblestone bridges, small canals, lots of bicycles, and windmills; that is pretty much the jest of it.
Speaking of bikes, apparently its a felony in the Netherlands to steal someone's bike (let me remind you that this is the same country that legalized marijuana and prostitution back in early 2000. As well as the same city that legalized pissing in the streets so long as it doesn't splash on someone else's shoes and that you may engage in 'intimate' activities after dark in a park so long as you are more than 100m from an elementary school.) Bike theft can get you up to a 15 years in prison; however, like everything in Amsterdam there is a back door rule. If you get caught with a stolen cycle; the only way you can escape punishment is if you fling the bike off of a bridge in a canal and it sinks completely. If any part of the bike is visible, tough luck chief, you're going to jail.
While I'm on the subject of strange laws; if you somehow manage to drive your vehicle into a canal you can be charged for littering in the canal systems which of course is a felony. But wait! There's a back door rule here as well! If you're still sitting in your car (which is in the canal) when the police arrive, they are obligated to jump in after you and save you because you are a citizen in distress, thereby relinquishing any penalty you would have incurred for littering the canal with your car...(which I'm sure was intentional).
We met back up with Ryan at his meeting point and set off to the Red Light District with a group that was composed largely of the same individuals we went with earlier that day.
To be continued..........
All good; all the time,
Thomas
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